I’m glad another month is finished but I can’t believe it’s already September. Only 3 months until the end of 2011, crazy!
Last Friday morning I woke up to my eyes being half way swollen shut. I’ve been having issues with my eyelids for a while now; they have been red, puffy and dry. And it was getting worse. I was planning on going to see the nurse soon but when I could barley open my eyes Friday I knew I needed to go right a way. I contacted PC and the doctor told me to come in as soon as possible so I got on a bus around noon and made it to the office 2 hours later. She told me I really shouldn’t wear my contacts here anymore and gave me antibiotic eye drops.
Since I arrived in town mid afternoon I didn’t feel like heading straight back to Linden so I called Becky to see what her plans were for the weekend. Our weekend turned into a spontaneous girl’s weekend. Her, Princess, and their friend Shaleeny met me in town and we went to the Amerindian Heritage Expo. It was neat to see Amerindian crafts and Princess and I split a delicious grilled chicken cheeseburger.
I was planning on heading back to Linden Saturday morning but Princess ended up talking Becky and I into staying another night. And I’m glad we did. We made cards, read magazines, made some good food, worked out a little, watched TV and movies, painted our toenails, cut Becky’s hair (she now has bangs!) and talked about Tobago! It was a fun weekend.
Now, I’m looking forward to next Friday!!
Things I’m grateful for this month:
Feeling like myself again
School starting back up
Becky and Princess
Working out
Going on a mini-cation home
Rain
Things I miss right now:
Cooler weather
Health food
Family
Snuggling on the couch
Hot chocolate
Feeling pretty. I’ve pretty much stopped wearing makeup. My favorite hairdo is a messy ponytail. And now I’m stuck wearing glasses. Oh well, makes getting ready a cinch.
Cheers to September!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
It Was That Awesome!
More pictures of Kato...
Flying into Kato I got to be co-pilot. It was pretty cool!
Love these girls!
The waterfall felt like a massage
Trying not to tumble down this hill
Black & White just adds to the beauty
Thursday, September 1, 2011
My Life List
When I woke up this morning the first thing that popped into my head was, it's September!! I'm so excited for this month!
Today I want to share my life list. I wrote a list of things I want to do in my lifetime. The goal is to have 100 things but I thought it would be fun to do half of my list now and the other half one year from now.
**My Life List {one hundred things}:
1. Become a registered nurse and work in labor and delivery
2. Get married in the Wayfarers Chapel
3. Go on a weeklong detoxifying retreat with my mom
4. Do 30 days of eating only raw foods again
5. Cook a new, different meal every day for at least one month
6. Learn how to sew
7. Sew an apron
8. Make a T-shirt quilt
9. Visit all 50 states
10. Become a mommy {2-3 babies}
11. Own seadoos
12. Write my life story
13. Be able to see my abs
14. Get a massage every month for a year
15. Road trip along the east coast and west coast
16. Go back to Alaska, see the northern lights
17. Live in Hawaii
18. Go wine tasting
19. Live close to the beach in California
20. Be a stay-at-home-mom for one year
21. Become really fit and strong
22. Grow my hair to the middle of my back (or longer)
23. Vacation in Ireland
24. Vacation in Greece
25. Take an unplanned, spontaneous trip, where you have to buy everything once you get there.
26. Own a home
27. Make my own baby food
28. Refurbish a piece of furniture and paint it a bright color
29. Paint the outside of my front door a bright teal, aqua color
30. Make homemade ice cream
31. Have something published
32. Make homemade bread
33. Do WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms)
34. Get my foot tattoo redone and made into a sea turtle
35. Go to a drive in movie
36. Take an adult ballet and tap class
37. Run a ½ marathon
38. Get a nice, professional camera, learn about photography and take lots of pictures
39. Use my own pictures for wall art
40. Open up my own health food store/bakery (this is kind of a lofty dream but I think it would be awesome, maybe much later in life)
41. Become a person who practices yoga regularly
42. Become a little more fashionable i.e. wear high hills and accessorize more
43. Become an expert at budgeting
44. See Incubus play in a small, more personal venue
45. Write a message in a bottle and send it out to sea
46. Sail on a boat to Catalina Island and spend the night on the boat in the harbor
47. Go backpacking in the mountains
48. Host Thanksgiving dinner and cook the turkey all by myself
49. Go to Walt Disney World
50. Write in a journal every day for one year
51. Host a fun dinner party
52. Send a random person $100 in the mail
53. Take a girl’s vacation with my sister
54. Have a vacation home
55. Spend a week in New York City and see a Broadway show
Other 45 goals & dreams to come one year from today.
Today I want to share my life list. I wrote a list of things I want to do in my lifetime. The goal is to have 100 things but I thought it would be fun to do half of my list now and the other half one year from now.
**My Life List {one hundred things}:
1. Become a registered nurse and work in labor and delivery
2. Get married in the Wayfarers Chapel
3. Go on a weeklong detoxifying retreat with my mom
4. Do 30 days of eating only raw foods again
5. Cook a new, different meal every day for at least one month
6. Learn how to sew
7. Sew an apron
8. Make a T-shirt quilt
9. Visit all 50 states
10. Become a mommy {2-3 babies}
11. Own seadoos
12. Write my life story
13. Be able to see my abs
14. Get a massage every month for a year
15. Road trip along the east coast and west coast
16. Go back to Alaska, see the northern lights
17. Live in Hawaii
18. Go wine tasting
19. Live close to the beach in California
20. Be a stay-at-home-mom for one year
21. Become really fit and strong
22. Grow my hair to the middle of my back (or longer)
23. Vacation in Ireland
24. Vacation in Greece
25. Take an unplanned, spontaneous trip, where you have to buy everything once you get there.
26. Own a home
27. Make my own baby food
28. Refurbish a piece of furniture and paint it a bright color
29. Paint the outside of my front door a bright teal, aqua color
30. Make homemade ice cream
31. Have something published
32. Make homemade bread
33. Do WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms)
34. Get my foot tattoo redone and made into a sea turtle
35. Go to a drive in movie
36. Take an adult ballet and tap class
37. Run a ½ marathon
38. Get a nice, professional camera, learn about photography and take lots of pictures
39. Use my own pictures for wall art
40. Open up my own health food store/bakery (this is kind of a lofty dream but I think it would be awesome, maybe much later in life)
41. Become a person who practices yoga regularly
42. Become a little more fashionable i.e. wear high hills and accessorize more
43. Become an expert at budgeting
44. See Incubus play in a small, more personal venue
45. Write a message in a bottle and send it out to sea
46. Sail on a boat to Catalina Island and spend the night on the boat in the harbor
47. Go backpacking in the mountains
48. Host Thanksgiving dinner and cook the turkey all by myself
49. Go to Walt Disney World
50. Write in a journal every day for one year
51. Host a fun dinner party
52. Send a random person $100 in the mail
53. Take a girl’s vacation with my sister
54. Have a vacation home
55. Spend a week in New York City and see a Broadway show
Other 45 goals & dreams to come one year from today.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Kato
Spending 4 days in a remote Amerindian village, surrounded by the rainforest, hanging out with good friends and enjoying some peace and quiet was exactly what I needed. Becky and I flew (in a small 6-seater plane) to Kato last Wednesday to visit Heather and Kellen and we are so glad we did.
I fell in love with their site, although I don’t know if I could live like they do for 2 years...they are both amazing. They are pretty isolated out in the rainforest with no running water, electricity or indoor bathroom. But they are surrounded by such natural beauty.
It was just so nice to relax and talk with fun friends.
On Thursday we hiked about an hour and a half (one way) to a vegetable farm. They don’t get many fruits and vegetable at their site so it was interesting to see what they have to do if they want any vegetables. The scenery was amazing as we walked under the rainforest canopy. On the way back we had to climb a huge hill, us girls were huffing and puffing and Kellen just waited patiently for us at the top. It was pretty funny. After that hike we were so hot and sweaty so we decided to hike to a waterfall about 20 minutes away from their house. Becky and I kept saying how it looked like a resort back home and Heather just kept laughing at us. We took advantage of the waterfall to wash our hair and shave our legs; we also washed some of our clothes.
Since they don’t have electricity we ate dinner before it got dark and then spent the rest of the evenings with our headlamps on talking and laughing and eating dessert.
On Friday we packed a little picnic and went back to the waterfall to layout and swim. Than that afternoon we went to their resource center (which is their project) to watch Bug’s Life and color with some kids.
Saturday we went for another long hike to larger waterfall and it was incredible. It was just an amazing feeling to know we were in the middle of nowhere and seeing something so unbelievable.
Sunday morning we left, I didn’t want to leave. We ended up having to stop in Mahdia for 5 hours. Mahdia is a gold mining town and luckily enough a volunteer lives there so we called him up and he was able to show us around. It was good to see but I’m glad I don’t live there. Then we made it back to reality and to the blazing hot Guyana sun.
Kato is at least 10 degrees cooler and at night we actually got a little cold, it was so nice!
I wish Kato wasn’t so far away and so expensive to get to because I would love to go back. But I’m grateful I got to spend 4 days there and see Heather and Kellen’s site!
I fell in love with their site, although I don’t know if I could live like they do for 2 years...they are both amazing. They are pretty isolated out in the rainforest with no running water, electricity or indoor bathroom. But they are surrounded by such natural beauty.
It was just so nice to relax and talk with fun friends.
On Thursday we hiked about an hour and a half (one way) to a vegetable farm. They don’t get many fruits and vegetable at their site so it was interesting to see what they have to do if they want any vegetables. The scenery was amazing as we walked under the rainforest canopy. On the way back we had to climb a huge hill, us girls were huffing and puffing and Kellen just waited patiently for us at the top. It was pretty funny. After that hike we were so hot and sweaty so we decided to hike to a waterfall about 20 minutes away from their house. Becky and I kept saying how it looked like a resort back home and Heather just kept laughing at us. We took advantage of the waterfall to wash our hair and shave our legs; we also washed some of our clothes.
Since they don’t have electricity we ate dinner before it got dark and then spent the rest of the evenings with our headlamps on talking and laughing and eating dessert.
On Friday we packed a little picnic and went back to the waterfall to layout and swim. Than that afternoon we went to their resource center (which is their project) to watch Bug’s Life and color with some kids.
Saturday we went for another long hike to larger waterfall and it was incredible. It was just an amazing feeling to know we were in the middle of nowhere and seeing something so unbelievable.
Sunday morning we left, I didn’t want to leave. We ended up having to stop in Mahdia for 5 hours. Mahdia is a gold mining town and luckily enough a volunteer lives there so we called him up and he was able to show us around. It was good to see but I’m glad I don’t live there. Then we made it back to reality and to the blazing hot Guyana sun.
Kato is at least 10 degrees cooler and at night we actually got a little cold, it was so nice!
I wish Kato wasn’t so far away and so expensive to get to because I would love to go back. But I’m grateful I got to spend 4 days there and see Heather and Kellen’s site!
Kato
{bird's eye view}
We were so excited!
{The yellow building is their house and the bigger building behind it is their resource center}
The vegetable farm
The waterfall closer to their house. I wish I had a waterfall I could hike to....
The larger waterfall, which we hiked down. It was neat but a little scary because it was so slippery.
Beautiful
We had a S'mores night. They were so good!
{Headlamps shinning & Kellen being a creeper in the background}
Sunday, August 21, 2011
7 Years Ago
It’s hard to believe 7 years ago today my older cousin, Brittany passed away.
She was 25 years old.
I remember that day like it was not that long ago. My mom and I were in San Diego attending Andrea’s sister’s wedding and when we got to our hotel room that night I had a lot of missed calls from my dad. My phone rang and it was another cousin who told me that Brittany was in a car accident and had passed away. My mom and I were both in shock. I laid awake that night thinking about all the times I spent with Brittany and how much I looked up to her. She was beautiful and full of life.
I grew up with my cousins. Almost every weekend, birthday party, and holiday we were together, playing outside or at park, having picnics and sleepovers. We were close. However, as we got older we drifted apart but my cousins have always been my cousins…my family. And knowing one of us is gone is still weird.
As I think of Brittany today I also think of her mom, dad, brother, and daughter.
I think how they must be feeling today and how life has been unfair to them but yet; they have also been so blessed because Brittany touched their hearts.
And as I think about my own life, seeing as I’m 25 now. I think there’s still SO much I want to do and accomplish in my life. I think about how important my family is to me and how I wish so badly we could all be together, always. I think about how life is too short and how we all need to live life to the fullest. I think about all the people I love and miss and how I can’t wait to hug everyone again and tell them I love them. And I think about the importance of happiness, laughter, smiles, and love.
She was 25 years old.
I remember that day like it was not that long ago. My mom and I were in San Diego attending Andrea’s sister’s wedding and when we got to our hotel room that night I had a lot of missed calls from my dad. My phone rang and it was another cousin who told me that Brittany was in a car accident and had passed away. My mom and I were both in shock. I laid awake that night thinking about all the times I spent with Brittany and how much I looked up to her. She was beautiful and full of life.
I grew up with my cousins. Almost every weekend, birthday party, and holiday we were together, playing outside or at park, having picnics and sleepovers. We were close. However, as we got older we drifted apart but my cousins have always been my cousins…my family. And knowing one of us is gone is still weird.
As I think of Brittany today I also think of her mom, dad, brother, and daughter.
I think how they must be feeling today and how life has been unfair to them but yet; they have also been so blessed because Brittany touched their hearts.
And as I think about my own life, seeing as I’m 25 now. I think there’s still SO much I want to do and accomplish in my life. I think about how important my family is to me and how I wish so badly we could all be together, always. I think about how life is too short and how we all need to live life to the fullest. I think about all the people I love and miss and how I can’t wait to hug everyone again and tell them I love them. And I think about the importance of happiness, laughter, smiles, and love.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Why Now?
I feel like I am in such a dark place right now…and I don’t understand why. I mean I have 7.5 months left in Peace Corps why is it now, after 18.5 months of already serving, living, and adjusting to life of a Peace Corps volunteer…and living in Guyana am I feeling this way? I want to know why, why now? Why am I unhappy? Why don’t I feel like myself? Why can’t I dig deep and find happiness here? Why can’t I pull myself up one more time? I’ve been low before and I’ve pulled myself up, so why am I struggling now? Why do I feel like I am failing?
All of these whys have been running in my head for days. I’ve been trying to change my thoughts and outlooks. I’ve been trying to concentrate on the now…being here. I’ve told myself, “You signed up for this, you have to finish.” I’ve reminded myself home will still be there when I return. But nothing has given me a piece of mind.
There have been a few moments where I’ve felt a surge of strength rush through me but it hasn’t stuck around fully...yet.
I was looking online trying to see if I’m the only PCV who’s ever felt this way (I know I’m not alone) and I came across this post from a girl who served in Tonga:
I know everyone has their reasons for leaving Peace Corps early and it’s so nice to know the option to leave is available. It just boggles my mind that I’m feeling this way NOW…so close to the end…but yet I feel it’s still so far.
I debated posting this post because some people can be critical and I hate the fact that I’m coming off as weak, whiny, and unhappy. But again, this blog is a collection of my thoughts and my experiences. I know every volunteer is different and every experience is different, just like every body and every life is different.
This is just how I am feeling now and what I am going through at this moment in my adventure.
All of these whys have been running in my head for days. I’ve been trying to change my thoughts and outlooks. I’ve been trying to concentrate on the now…being here. I’ve told myself, “You signed up for this, you have to finish.” I’ve reminded myself home will still be there when I return. But nothing has given me a piece of mind.
There have been a few moments where I’ve felt a surge of strength rush through me but it hasn’t stuck around fully...yet.
I was looking online trying to see if I’m the only PCV who’s ever felt this way (I know I’m not alone) and I came across this post from a girl who served in Tonga:
“You shouldn’t not quit for the sake of not quitting, you have to find some sliver of happiness in what you’re doing, otherwise you’re not doing anyone else a favor by ‘sticking it out’ ”.
I know everyone has their reasons for leaving Peace Corps early and it’s so nice to know the option to leave is available. It just boggles my mind that I’m feeling this way NOW…so close to the end…but yet I feel it’s still so far.
I debated posting this post because some people can be critical and I hate the fact that I’m coming off as weak, whiny, and unhappy. But again, this blog is a collection of my thoughts and my experiences. I know every volunteer is different and every experience is different, just like every body and every life is different.
This is just how I am feeling now and what I am going through at this moment in my adventure.
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