New Beginnings

The end of my Peace Corps experience marks the end of a huge chapter in my life. It’s not only the end of my journey in Guyana but I feel like it’s the end of my young adult life {my adolescence in a sense}. I came to Peace Corps unsure of who I really was. Unsure of what I really wanted in life. I came to Peace Corps to figure out my life…to find myself. And I have.

Now that it's over and I'm looking back on the whole experience I feel extremely grateful. I had my share of ups and downs and there were times when I questioned if being in Guyana was worth it. But now I can definitely say it was worth it and I would do the whole thing over again if I had to. I met amazing people and I grew. I gained a whole new perspective on life and that is something I’ll be forever grateful for.

Being home has been good but a little weird. And I say weird because I have felt so many different emotions like happy, overwhelmed, scared, excited, sad, loved, lonely, jealous, guilty, and subdued.  I can't help but feel that since I'm home I have to have a plan. I have to jump into something, anything.  I have to be doing something.  When these thoughts/feeling come into my mind I welcome them and feel them but I don't allow them to stick around too long...I just keep telling myself it's okay to feel these things and it's okay to take a little time before jumping into something. I know things will happen when the time is right....

I'm pretty excited for new beginnings and the next chapter in my life.  

In My Final Hours

Somehow time got away from me and up until the last moment I was still saying goodbye to people, packing, finishing documents for Peace Corps, and hanging out with good friends, whom I’m going to miss so much.

Thursday night I stayed at Princess’ for the final time and Friday I signed, dotted my I’s, crossed my T’s, and said farewell to Peace Corps. Then Becky, Princess, and I headed to the Linden bus park for the FINAL time and I said, “hallelujah” to my last minibus ride!! Friday night we had a little dinner, which was perfect, just my style. It meant so much to me that Mrs. Gibbons and Dawn come over and brought some channa and macaroni and cheese. We reminisced over memories and talked about all the crazy, good times we’ve shared in Guyana, even the memory of ‘flat bird’ (what a nurse called me in the first month at the health center) was brought up. My eyes were teary all night. After dinner Becky and Princess treated me to ice cream and we got caught in the rain, but it was actually kind of nice. We continued packing and by 2:30am I felt like I wanted to close my eyes and try to sleep for an hour so the 3 of us laid in my bed (my last time under the mosquito net!) but my mind was just racing and my heart was feeling very anxious. At 3:30am I got up, made some coffee, ate a bagel, and then Becky woke up and we talked some more. Around 4:45 a sleepy Tim and Chelsea came down stairs to see me off with hugs and tears. They are going to be the last ones standing in Linden and I’m so proud of them, I will truly miss them, we have been through a lot together.

Rastaman James picked us up at 5am, Becky and Princess came to airport with me, which was so sweet of them. It was a very rainy morning and my last drive down the Linden highway was a bit scary, we hydroplaned a lot, but we made it to the airport safely and in time. My bags were a tad over the allotted weight so we had to move some things around, I was glad I had Princess and Becky there to help me, the airport can be stressful. I hugged Becky and Princess goodbye, again with tears in my eyes and then I was on my own departing Guyana.

Seeing as I hadn’t slept I was tired and once I boarded the plan I closed my eyes and after a few minutes I heard someone say, “Sosebee”, I opened my eyes and there was a ground personnel asking me to please come with him that I had to look at my bag. It was still raining and there were a few employees gathered around my bag they called me over and a man came over and told me he was checking my bag for narcotics. He pretty much ripped open every single thing I had wrapped up and then proceeded to interrogate me, asking me how long I’ve been in Guyana, what I was doing there, who I worked for, and if I had my supervisor’s number. I told him I was a Peace Corps volunteer and told him the name of our country director and then he said, “Oh, I know who is” and said my bag was okay and let me re-board the plane. It was so weird and it really bothered me and of course I cried once more when I returned to my seat. I have had the worst luck at Cheddi Jagan International Airport and boy am I glad to not deal with that airport any longer.

And now, I’m sitting in JFK waiting for my flight to Salt Lake City….

It’s definitely been an emotional roller-coaster ride for me the last few days…I just can’t believe I’m finished and now I’m a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.
I can’t believe I’m back home and it’s time to embark on a brand new adventure…readjusting to this American life and figuring out what my next step is going to be…it’s definitely an exciting time in my life and I’m ready for whatever life has in store for me next.

Saying goodbye only allows us to say hello again!

Oh, Miss Jillian!

LAST MINIBUS RIDE!!!!

Man, way to go out with a bang, I mean messy hair!

A dear lady made me a goodbye heart cake

My farewell gang--love them!

Mrs. Gibbons and Dawn

I have to thank God for watching over me and keeping me safe over  the past 2 years, especially on all those minibus rides!


I’ll be writing and reflecting more about my time in Guyana and the whole experience once I get some sleep.

Saying Goodbye

It’s crazy to think that another new group of volunteers are embarking on this adventure come the 1st of February. Although, I won’t be in Guyana to greet them or get to know them I can’t help but think how they must be feeling right now…how I felt 2 years ago, packing my bags and venturing out on an unknown, foreign experience. It’s interesting to compare my thoughts and feelings as I was leaving home and arriving in Guyana to now, leaving Guyana and returning home. The thoughts and feelings are very similar--scared, uncertain, excited, nervous, sad, hopeful, and knowing this change is good for me.
Honestly, I never thought I would be this emotional when the time came to head home, after all I’m returning to once a familiar land…I’m returning to my friends and family. But it’s hard and I’m sad to leave Guyana, I’m sad to say goodbye to the amazing people I’ve met here. Guyana has become a part of me, it became my home and I’m truly going to miss it.

I have come so far in 2 years and I’m so excited that a new group of people are leaving the comforts of their lives behind for a little while to experience a new, great, different, adventurous, crazy, beautiful roller-coast ride that is Peace Corps Guyana.

It doesn’t feel real that on Saturday I am leaving Guyana and heading home…it’s just so crazy that my time here is ending. Where did 2 years go?
I am so grateful for this experience and for all the friendships I’ve made along the way. I know this experience was exactly what I needed at this point in my life. I will never forget my time in Guyana; it’s truly a beautiful country.

There are so many people to say goodbye to...neighbors, nurses, teachers, market vendors and shop keepers, taxi drivers, boat drivers, patients, the laundry guy, and everyday people I pass on the road. It's been hard saying goodbye.
Yesterday was my last day at the hospital kitchen and today was my last day over the river, at the health center and schools. I have become a part of a community and I'm really going to miss everyone who's been so kind, welcoming, and friendly towards me. I'm sad I didn't get to say goodbye to a few people over the river today but I hope they know how much I enjoyed getting to know them.

It's been hard saying goodbye to the kids, the students who have touched my heart. At the nursery school the headmistress had them sing me songs and give me hugs and kisses, it was so cute. My heart goes out the kids in Christianburg and I'm so blessed I got to spend time with them.

The goodbyes are only going to get harder in the next 2 days...

 ...but it won't be hard saying goodbye to this guy!

23 Months & Close of Service

This is my final month in Guyana. It’s surreal and I’m feeling a bit anxious. I just can’t believe it is all ending and that in 3 weeks my life for the past 23 months will be different. It’s definitely a bittersweet feeling.

This past week was our Close of Service conference; we ended where we stared at Splashmin’s Resort and that was a little weird…we were all remembering the first couple of days in Guyana and how awkward it was getting to know one another and trying to understand what was going on. And now it’s time to say goodbye.

The conference was good and informative. We learned about all the forms and documents we have complete in order to close out our service and just like the long process it took to get into Peace Corps leaving is similar. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed but I know I’ll get it all done…it’s just going to make these last 3 weeks fly by.

The thing I enjoyed about COS was reflecting on every thing I’ve accomplished during my service and the life skills I’ve acquired/enhanced.

We talked about re-adjusting to life back home and they shared with us the 4 components of re-entry
1) Loss
2) Change in expectations
3) Change in employment
4) Cross cultural adaptation (change in values and time)
I think these are going to be very true.

Guy22 and PCGY staff

Yesterday we returned back to Georgetown and to the PC office. It was a very emotional day and I felt very anxious because I had to say goodbye to many volunteers who I won’t be seeing before I leave Guyana. It was especially difficult to say goodbye to Heather and Kellen.

They are seriously such good, giving, genuine, fun people and I’m going to miss them so much. I’m grateful for their friendship and I know I’ll be seeing them in the States.

I know the next 3 weeks are going to be full of emotion.

Babies

I had the opportunity to help Chelsea with her Food for Healthy Babies program.  She had the idea to develop a program for at risk (malnourished, under wight, or who may be HIV positive) babies. Basically, it's an educational feeding program focusing on introducing solid foods to babies. We developed lessons on feeding baby with a cup and spoon, doing food demonstrations on making porridge, fresh fruit juice, homemade baby food (which they had never seen before),  and baking healthy snacks (focusing on the importance of feeding baby with wholesome foods instead of packaged snacks), and parenting with love (making meal time fun for baby).  Overall, although we ran into some errors, the program was successful and we enjoyed the time we got to spend with cute babies and friendly mothers.

I just love these little ones!

Changes are a-Comin'

As I am beginning to wrap up my Peace Corps service...I've been working on my Description of Service (DOS), summing up everything I've done since arriving in Guyana, and it has been a little overwhelming remembering everything and finding the right, concise wording.  But it's also been a good time to reflect on my life over the past 22 months. 

However, all of this thought about my time as a volunteer also has me thinking about the changes that are going to happen so soon. And I'll admit, as much as I am looking forward to returning home, I'm getting a little nervous...what's my plan? 

 And while I'm going back to old comforts I'm a little scared to leave the safety of Peace Corps. 

But truthfully, I'm so excited for the changes that await me.  I can feel it in my bones that the change my life is about to encounter is going to be so amazingly awesome.  

I feel confident that I have gained the strength I need to start the next chapter of my life and I'm just so ready to take this new breath of life. 

Today

Today is Guyana’s Presidential Election and Peace Corps has been preparing us for this day for awhile now. They have enforced that we stay in our houses today and tomorrow and possibly the rest of the week depending on how things go. We have stocked up on food and what not and have a bag packed just in case we have to evacuate. These are just precautions Peace Corps has put in order. So far today has been pretty quiet but I think tomorrow, once the decision has been made things might get a little heated (just my foresight in Linden). But I'm praying things go peacefully and soundly.

In the meantime, while we are instructed to stay home for a few days I’ve been enjoying being lazy. I’ve been listening to music and pinning items in Pinterest. I’m working on filling out a Peace Corps questionnaire and watching Gossip Girl. I’d like to start going through things in my house and thinking about what I want to take back home with me…it’s crazy how much I’ve accumulated since being in Guyana. And it’s crazy that come this time in January I’ll be home…

Please keep Guyana in your thoughts.

Advanced COS

After much consideration and discussion with Peace Corps Guyana staff I decided to apply for an advanced Close of Service (COS) date. I spoke with my Country Director and found out volunteers may apply for an advanced COS up to 90 days before their actual COS date and still be treated as a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. However, the approval wouldn’t be up to him, it would have to be approved by the South America desk.

So I took the leap of faith. I had to write a letter as to why I was requesting an early COS and I had to have my supervisor at the health center write a letter saying she agreed that my projects are complete and she was giving me permission to submit my request.

The reasons vary as to why I decided to try and complete my Peace Corps service early. I do no feel like I am quitting or failing because I am completing my Close of Service (our COS conference is the first week in January). I am so grateful for the support of my Counterpart, Project Manager and Country Director because my request for an advanced COS date has been approved and I’ll be home by the end of January!

Wow, I kind of can’t believe it. The request was sent yesterday and I found out today that my advanced COS date has officially been approved. I was not expecting that quick of a response and I can’t believe I have 2 months left in Guyana. It’s crazy to think about. And I’ll admit I have mixed emotions. As much as I am excited to think about life back home I am a little scared. But I am super excited…I’m anxious, happy, sad, nervous, unsure, surprised, excited, happy, sad, excited.

I knew this adventure would eventually end and all my fellow PCVs would go their separate ways but wow, it’s really coming to an end and I’ll be leaving my friends and life in Guyana so soon.
Deep down I know this decision and step is right for me. It’s time to move on.
But right now it’s time to really enjoy my last moments in Guyana.

Why Now?

I feel like I am in such a dark place right now…and I don’t understand why. I mean I have 7.5 months left in Peace Corps why is it now, after 18.5 months of already serving, living, and adjusting to life of a Peace Corps volunteer…and living in Guyana am I feeling this way? I want to know why, why now? Why am I unhappy? Why don’t I feel like myself? Why can’t I dig deep and find happiness here? Why can’t I pull myself up one more time? I’ve been low before and I’ve pulled myself up, so why am I struggling now? Why do I feel like I am failing?

All of these whys have been running in my head for days. I’ve been trying to change my thoughts and outlooks. I’ve been trying to concentrate on the now…being here. I’ve told myself, “You signed up for this, you have to finish.” I’ve reminded myself home will still be there when I return. But nothing has given me a piece of mind.

There have been a few moments where I’ve felt a surge of strength rush through me but it hasn’t stuck around fully...yet.

I was looking online trying to see if I’m the only PCV who’s ever felt this way (I know I’m not alone) and I came across this post from a girl who served in Tonga:

“You shouldn’t not quit for the sake of not quitting, you have to find some sliver of happiness in what you’re doing, otherwise you’re not doing anyone else a favor by ‘sticking it out’ ”. 

I know everyone has their reasons for leaving Peace Corps early and it’s so nice to know the option to leave is available. It just boggles my mind that I’m feeling this way NOW…so close to the end…but yet I feel it’s still so far.

I debated posting this post because some people can be critical and I hate the fact that I’m coming off as weak, whiny, and unhappy. But again, this blog is a collection of my thoughts and my experiences. I know every volunteer is different and every experience is different, just like every body and every life is different.

This is just  how I am feeling now and what I am going through at this moment in my adventure.

...

I’m kinda lost for words. Where do I start?

For about 2 weeks now my mind and heart have been screaming at me to go home.
To give up on Peace Corps. To quit and return home to the life I miss.

You know that feeling of wanting something so badly it actually hurts? That’s where I’ve been and that’s what I’m trying to overcome but it’s so hard.

I feel I’ve always been a pretty patient person.
I’ve been waiting wholeheartedly…keeping faith that things will happen when the time is right.
But a strong force swept through me, saying, “I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m sick of waiting. And I want the next step”.

But it’s not that easy.

Because...
I have to be a little more patient.
I have to be stronger.
I have to keep having faith.

I have to stay grounded a little while longer in Guyana.
I have to push through.
I have to enjoy and endear the end of this crazy roller-coaster ride.

I’m truly hoping this is the last low point I’ll experience during my Peace Corps experience.

I am eternally grateful for the love and support from my friends and family. I’m grateful for the friendship Chelsea and I share. And I’m grateful for Zach, even though I didn’t want to hear the words I know he is right, I should stay.

 “When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians

I read this scripture everyday.

Day 11

Something you feel you've improved in yourself and you're proud of.

Over the past 17 months I can honestly say there has been a lot that I've improved in myself and that I'm proud of.  Joining the Peace Corps has been the best thing I could have done for myself. It has pushed me to my personal limits.  I've learned so much about myself and about life, which I am forever grateful for.  I've learned patience and how to go with the flow.  I've learned how to budget and make do with what I have. But the most important improvements I've made within myself have been growing stronger with who I am, being happy with myself, and being more self confident. 
I'm so proud of myself for taking this huge leap with my life and believing I could do it.

Content

I'm feeling really content with everything right now.  And it's a pretty amazing feeling. This past week I've faced frustrations just like any other week but I've noticed that these "frustrations", or things that should be frustrating me really haven't phased me at all. It's so remarkable to realize that I'm not letting things to get me anymore.

This week we've had handymans around pouring cement and installing a second water tank (finally!). So we have had no running water for 2 going on 3 days now, meaning we've been filling buckets of water from the stand pipe outside to bathe with, wash our dishes, do our laundry, and flush the toilet. When running water is taken away from you you really see how many times a day you go to turn the faucet on.
Anyways, not having running water use to drive me crazy. It was hard to do dishes and it sucked having to bathe by pouring water on myself from a bucket. But this week I've managed just fine with the bucket system and it really hasn't bugged me like it did months ago.

Also this week I was told we'd be going on a health outreach trip, which I was actually looking forward to. Medex told me to be at the health center at 8:00am. Now, I knew we wouldn't be leaving that early but I did as she said and arrived at the health center at 8:15. Was I surprised to find the place locked? No.  So I sat outside and waited for a half hour until a nurse came with the key to open the doors. Medex didn't arrive until 10:30 and said we weren't going on the trip.  I just said, "okay" and I was content with that.

A few other "frustrations" this week have been:
An elderly man weeding our yard with a cutlass all week (I just feel for him)
Our yard getting full of water and turning muddy
Guys breaking up our cement walkway when delivering sand
Not being able to clean my house
Biting ants 
Money. I don't have much but I'm not worried about it 
Boredom
Despite all these "frustrations" I'm grateful for feeling content in my life and I hope this feeling lasts for a long time.

Coconut Oil

Oh my gosh, I learned how to make coconut oil and I'm so excited!
The other day Medex and I were talking and she said she wasn't going to cook with oil anymore because it's bad. Somehow we got on the topic of coconut oil and that turned into making our own.  Mrs. Gibbons (the cleaning lady), who's become one of my favorite people here said she would show us.  So today I went to the health center to learn how to make coconut oil.  It was so cool. Of course I forgot to bring my camera but next week I'm going to make my own and I'll post it on Hobbit Food. 
Last night Mrs. Gibbons grated 4 coconuts, blended the small chunks of coconut meat and squeezed all the coconut milk out. She let the coconut milk set in the fridge over night and carried it to the health center today.  All the fat from the milk floated to the top, it looked like custard and then she fried up the milk fat in a pan and eventually all the oil came out and we got coconut oil. It was pretty neat and now I have a small amount of coconut oil to cook with!
I told Medex a jar of coconut oil in the States runs anywhere from $15-$30 but here I can get it for free! I can't wait to try and make my own next week.
It's moments like today where I think how cool it really is I'm here!

"The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love"

After being in Guyana for 16 months I think I have a pretty good grasps on life here and the order of operations. However, this week has been rough. It started out really good and I was enjoying being busy. But by the end of this morning my patience grew really thin.
Life here is hard. And sometimes it’s so hard to see because there are so many things that tug at my heart but very little I can actually do. I can’t change the education or health care system. I can’t build someone a house. And I can’t be in 5 different places at once.
I’ve gotten accustom to the ‘just now’ mentality. I’ve accepted the fact that teachers don’t always teach like they’re suppose to. And I’ve tried my very best to be a good volunteer and put myself out there. But right now I’m feeling sad and frustrated about situations I’ve faced over the past week.

It all started with trying to meet with the Regional Health Officer (RHO) who oversees everything health related in Region 10. She is a busy lady and it’s sometimes hard to meet with her. Tony, Amy and myself want to start a diabetic program in Linden but we need her support and approval before we can start. We went on Tuesday afternoon to see if we could meet with her, she was not there. Her secretary told us to come back the next morning at 10am. So we all took the morning off to meet with her. When we got there her secretary said, “she is not here, I told you to come at 10am on Thursday”. The 3 of us looked at each other and then said, “Oh, okay. Thanks.” We knew she told us 'tomorrow' but oh well, we didn’t really expect her to be there. So Tony called the office Thursday morning to make sure RHO would be there and he was told she would be in after lunch, around 1o’clock time. So the 3 of us headed to the office once again and were told she was not in, but we could check back Friday or Monday.
Ahh, this kind of thing is so frustrating to me. They knew she was out of Linden for the week. Why couldn’t they have just told us, “RHO is out in Kwakwani until Thursday”? But people rarely say things like that because they don’t want you to know they are out of town so instead they give you the run around.
So we’ll she if she is there on Monday.

Then this morning it was one thing after the other (I know God is testing me). I reached the health center around 8:45 but the doors were still looked so instead of waiting outside for who knows how long I went to the nursery school. Before I got to the health center I saw one of the nursery school teachers on the road. She said she was coming back “just now” so I knew her class would be left unattended. When I went to the class they were playing and arguing with each other. They all gave me a hug and then immediately began fighting over who was going to sit next to me in the reading circle. Usually they scram to get their chairs in a circle, which ends up being a clump of chairs and them pushing each other. So today I lined them up against the wall and made a nice circle with their chairs. I told them if they wanted me to read they had to obey and sit nicely in the circle, which they did. After reading a story I taught them how to play Simon Says, they had fun with it. Next, one of the other teachers came to me and said, “Today is Share and Tell so have the students share the toy they brought and then they have to write in their books ‘today is Friday’ and draw a picture of a toy”. So after Share and Tell I passed out their books and looked for pencils. I had 9 students and only found 4 sharpened pencils. When I asked the other teachers if they had a pencil sharpener they said no.
It’s stuff like this that really gets to me. How is there no pencil sharpener in the school? I guess I should always walk with a pencil sharpener from now on.

I had to be at the health center at 10am for a meeting with Medex and this guy in charge of a youth club that I’ve been giving health talks to on Saturdays. After we were finished discussing youth club items he told Medex he didn’t get to eat dinner last night and woke up with a headache, blurred vision, and numbness in this hands. He asked her if he could have his blood pressure checked, she told him it was just his diet and that he needs to make sure he eats regularly. Then she told me to go and talk to him. We left her office and I went ahead and had his blood pressure checked it was high, 150/120. I went and told Medex and she said, “Oh wow!” She wasn’t even going to have his pressure checked after he told her his symptoms!

Also this morning the mother and the very malnourished baby from this post came in. It was good to see the little guy. He put on a little weight but is still so tiny. She seems to be feeding him better but his skin and head were full of scabs and bumps, it turns out he has scabies. And the onesie he was wearing was dirty and gross. I feel so sad for this baby.
It’s situations like this one that are the hardest because there’s very little I can do.

I know life is hard everywhere, not just here. But seeing these types of situations on a regular basis can be depressing and I can't tell you how many times the phrase, "what the heck?" runs through my mind.
But I guess that's why I'm here, to witness this type of life/ living and to give and help in anyway I can even when I'm really frustrated  with the system, people, life.

So the Peace Corps slogan is true, this is the hardest job I'll ever love.

Life In A Developing Country

When I take a moment to stop and think about life here it hits me hard. I know I’m living and serving in a developing country but sometimes I forget about it or I’ve just come to accept life here and don’t think twice about things that I once would have freaked out about, like no running water in the health center or all the ants that line the floor in Medex’s office.

I see things that I’ve gotten so accustom to like a woman in her mid 40’s with missing teeth and super bad breath. Or  a mom with her daughter who needs medicine for a rash on her foot because she plays in the mud barefoot. And a woman who gets de-worming treatment for her family of 7.

But there are still things I see that take a little more getting use to like, a diabetic patient who has a gaping hole on the bottom of her foot, which has re-opened more than once. And as Medex held a flash light on the wound I could see bone, it was gross but I could handle it (I see this as a success if I’m going to go to nursing school).

But there’s still so much more to the every day life here. Some of it annoys me, some of it tugs at my heart and some of it makes me laugh, which is why I continue to stay.

Like, men who stop me on the road. Yes, I find this frustrating most of the time because they always ask for my number but I’ve come to realized that they are just curious, they want to know what I’m doing here and where I’m from, hence all the questions. So it’s now my goal to stop being annoyed by this and rather share a bit of new information with a Curious George.

But sometimes when I share something about my life I can’t help to feel sad. I was showing one of my co-workers pictures from my trip home and she kept asking where pictures where taken and she loved the picture of the Bellagio fountain. I realized she has no idea what Vegas is like, nor will she ever see it. It’s crazy because many people have no concept of what life is like in the US and no matter how hard I try to explain things they just don’t understand. Sure there are many people who do travel and who have been to the US but for those who have never left Guyana, or a village for that matter it makes me sad because I am so privileged.

I find working in the hospital kitchen so funny, I mean when else am I going to work in a kitchen? Never. I really do enjoy my time there and the friendships I’ve formed with the ladies. I love that I help make bread and that I chop green onions. I love that I have to wear a hair net and apron and I love that a long steel rod is used to stir a huge pot of rice. I find it so funny how many flies come into the baker’s corner and how she tries to shoo them out with a towel.

When I stop to think about life here in Guyana I’m happy to be apart of it and I know this experience is something I’ll never forget.

On A Girly Note

I miss being girly. Now, I've never been over the top girly, I've never worn designer labels, I've left the house without make-up on, and the most I've worn heels was when I worked at LA Hotel. 

But I miss feeling pretty, I miss taking the time to do my hair and make-up, I miss shopping (even window shopping), I miss feeling "done up".

Since I'll be home (visiting) in a month I've been scoping out clothing websites (mostly AE.com). I love American Eagle and can't wait for the moment I step foot into one of their stores...it's going to be dangerous!

I really want a new dress, shirts and jewelry!

I have been one for loving bright colors and I think this dress is incredible!!

I'm excited for the first day I'm home and I get to feel girly! I just might imagine I'm wearing this dress, hehe!

On a more serious note, I love, love, love Mexican food and I was craving it like crazy all week. Luckily my craving got a little fix when Chelsea had the idea of making enchiladas for dinner on Saturday. They were pretty yummy and the salsa I made almost brought me home.

Sorry this picture isn't great

I'm really hoping there's a Mexican restaurant at JFK. Oh, I can't wait!

Now, on a real serious note, come April 14th there will be two new PCVs in Linden.  And right now they are here visiting and getting a feel for the next 2 years of their lives. We had them over for dinner last night and they both seem really cool and excited to be coming here.  It's surreal to be the "older" volunteers, it wasn't that long ago we were in their shoes. 

I remember feeling so overwhelmed and scared when the volunteer I stayed with took me out for a walk one night. She interacted so well with everyone, she seemed so comfortable and I wondered if I would get to that point? It's crazy to look back on my time in training and how far I've come.

A little funny fact I learned about one of the girls; her name is Amy and I told her my sister's name is Amie and she said her sister's name is Sarah, her sister is also younger.  How bizarre!

Wednesdays

Wednesdays are the busiest mornings at the health center. Mothers bring their infants and children in to get vaccines. About 30-50 mothers (maybe a few fathers) come and settle in for the morning as they know it’s going to be awhile. They hand the clerk their child’s card, which contains information from the day they were born. Their babies get their height and weighed measured and then sit waiting to be called. Some days it’s a mad house.

I like Wednesdays because I actually do work. I call in patients, chart the child’s height and weight, talk to parents about nutrition and or the importance of breast-feeding and I get to see little babies. Since I’ve been working at the health center I’ve gotten to know many mothers and their children. It’s crazy to have met a woman when she was pregnant and now watching her child grow. [Side story, one mother brought in her son—I went with one of the nurses the week he was born to do his health assessment—when I saw her with him the other day I couldn’t believe how big he was, he is now 9 months old, it blew me away.]

Anyway, on our walk today Chelsea told me about an undernourished baby she saw yesterday at her clinic. Surprisingly I haven’t seen too many undernourished children but today I saw two. One was my patient, the baby was 2 months old and the mother was not breast-feeding her, when I asked her what she was feeding her baby (who she has yet named) she responded with water and tea. The other nurse in the room over heard this and just let into this mother telling her she HAS to breast feed her baby. The woman was not pleased and she didn’t believe that her baby only needed breast milk. I tried to explain how her baby’s stomach is not developed yet for foods like tea, fruit juice and porridge. I hope she does the right thing for her baby.

The second case was one Medex called me in for. When I walked into the room I saw a very little boy sitting on a woman’s lap. One look at him and I knew he was malnourished. He’s a year old but looks about the size of a 6 month old. He’s so tiny, with little arms and legs, and a sunken in face. He broke my heart; I wanted to take him away right then and there. Medex couldn’t believe this mother and was quite harsh with her.
The crazy thing is both these mothers have other children. I don’t understand how a mother cannot take care of her children. It really is heart wrenching.

Experiencing Remoteness

I can't believe it's March already! Next month I'll be home :) !!!

I had the opportunity to help out a little with training. This year they split Guy23's group into urban and remote trainings. So those people who think they can spend 2 years in the bush are training in an Amerindian village and the people who want more of a city feel are training in a urban setting.
I was lucky and got to attend the remote training.  At first I was a little apprehensive about this because for one, I live in the second largest town in Guyana, I don't know much about remoteness, and second, I would be staying remote (i.e. using pit latrines, and staying in someone else's house) but I loved it!  Despite, us living in a large urban community they are using us Linderes to help with the remote training because the site is not far from Linden about 30 minutes down the Linden highway and about another 30 minutes down a dirt road.  It's easy for us to get there but that's not the case for us to get back so PC ends up driving us home.

Standing on the Linden Highway

I ended up staying the night there Sunday because I wasn't sure what time my session was on Monday so I figured I'd better be safe than sorry. It actually worked out well because fellow volunteers, Tony and Jason were also going so we met and traveled together.  It was fun hanging out with the guys and getting to know the new trainees.  There are 10 trainees in the remote site, they seem to be enjoying their time so far and are learning a lot about life in Guyana, especially living in an Amerindian village.  I'm a little envious of their training because the place is beautiful, they are away from the hussle and bussle of city life, they have a small group and are getting really close, and they can all hangout together after dark because they live near each other. But it's also a little weird to see them not getting to know the other people in their group. I'm so interested to see where they are all placed and how things work out for everyone.
It was a little weird to be back in training, except this time I was the one facilitating sessions and sharing my experience, which is so crazy!

Some village life

Being somewhere new in Guyana and surrounded by new people really made me feel so grateful to be here. It was one of those moments where I just realized how amazing this whole experience is.

 

Kids are curious 

I'll be going back next week for a few days and I can't wait!!

GUY 23's Arrival

On Tuesday myself and a bunch of other Guy22ers went to the airport to greet the new group, Guy 23! It was a fun experience to see the newbies walk out from the terminal and being welcomed with cheers, claps, and coconuts. For me, that whole process a year ago seems like a blur.  It's surreal to know a new group of trainees are here and now we are able to help them get acquainted with PC Guyana.

We had a lot of fun waiting for the newbies!

Chels and I are integrated

The sorting of the begs and trying to get to know each other

Welcome Guy23!

12 Months

A year ago I flew into the land of many waters and was welcomed by lush green jungle and humidity.

I can’t believe I’ve been in Guyana for one year now. It doesn’t seem possible. It has definitely been a challenging, different, crazy, good year. One I’ll never forget.

My first year in review:
Flew from LAX to JFK. Met my fellow Guy22ers. Arrived in Guyana after not sleeping for 33 hours. Took a swim test in black water. Ate some different food. Met and lived with my host family for 2 months. Sat in a pink church for 8 weeks of training doing skits and a bunch of group work. Felt like a stranger in a strange land. Missed my host family’s house on the way home from training, panicked, cried, laughed. Got served a hot dog for breakfast. Tried to learn how to cook Guyanese food. Drank a lot of rum. Tried to figure out what people were saying to me. Got eaten alive by mosquitoes. Listened to chutney and soca music. Learned how to flag down taxis and minibuses. Attended Manduir. Walked in the Mash parade. Got colored powder thrown all over me. Became an official Peace Corps Volunteer. Moved to my site with Tony, Chelsea, and Tim. Learned how to live with 3 other people in an unfamiliar community. Went to work at the health center. Sat for hours in the health center wondering about my "job". Became comfortable walking around town and going to the market. Got to know market vendors. Experimented with new foods and how to cook them. Started walking every morning with Chelsea. Sat by candle light during a storm.  Came to love my hammock time. Read lots of books. Completed and presented my Community Diagnostic report. Consulted with women and men about nutrition. Measured and charted children’s growth every week. Done food demonstrations for the elderly club. Started teaching 6th grade health 3 days a week. Read to the nursery school kids once a week. Stared working in the hospital kitchen with the hopes of helping them make healthier food for the patients. Started working with Chelsea on Be Safe and “Ready or Not”.  I’ve finally come to understand what people are saying. I've washed my laundry by hand every week. And I've sweated and sweated and sweated.
I went on a week-long river out reach trip. I spent 5 amazing days in Barbados. I’ve been to Kaiteure and Iwokrama. I had my family come visit for Thanksgiving.
I’ve questioned what I’m doing here. I’ve been homesick. I’ve been depressed.
I’ve loved it here. I’ve learned to accept things I’ll never understand. I’ve opened my heart and mind. I’ve experienced personal growth. I’ve gained confidence in being a Peace Corps Volunteer.
I’ve met great people. I’ve made new friends. I’ve been so grateful for the friendship, support, and understanding of my fellow PCVs. I’ve had moments that have truly touched my heart. I have a greater love for life. I’ve gained patients and now know how important it is to go with the flow. I’ve really come to appreciate where I come from and all I’ve experienced in life so far.
I truly am blessed and grateful for this past year.
I'm looking forward to the next 14 months and all that's still ahead of me.

Fresh off the plane

2.7.2010

One year later...hanging out in the PC lounge

2.7.2011

We've all come so far!